


Bruh.....What?

by songohanfan1



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Language, M/M, PruIta - Freeform, btt, kiss scenes, my bois
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-20 08:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10658937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songohanfan1/pseuds/songohanfan1
Summary: Pruita, basically the other two members of the BTT discover the Awesome One has been having a (super cute) relationship with a pretty close friend/brother of theirs. Basically, just a read into Prussia and Italy's relationship.





	1. The Fuck Did We Just See?

**Author's Note:**

> I've gotten back into my Hetalia phase unfortunately, and my otp is Pruita. Which there is sadly not enough love for, so, me being tired of rereading the same fics, decided I needed to contribute to my beautiful and adored ship. Enjoy~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations  
> Italian: Ciao= hello/hi  
> Cosa hai detto=what did you say?  
> tesoro= treasure  
> Mi dispiace= I'm sorry!  
> Buona notte= good night  
> German: Schatz= treasure  
> Liebling=darling  
> Großvater= grandfather  
> Kleiner= little one  
> Tut mir leid= I'm sorry  
> gute nacht= good night  
> nein= no  
> kuchen= german cake  
> Wilkommen= welcome  
> French: tres amusant= very amusing  
> Prusse, ou etes-vous?= Prussia where are you?  
> Je suis ici ami= I'm here, my friend  
> mon frere= my brother  
> Spanish= Si, donde esta= yeah, where are you  
> amigos= friends

* * *

**Chapter One- The Fuck Did We Just See?**

 

 

Okay so in your totally awesome and legit defense, Spain and France came over with literally no warning whatsoever. Therefore, the awesome you cannot be held responsible for any "unsightly" or "inappropriate" things they might have seen.

     So basically, West had a meeting with Eyebrows discussing some trade agreements, he said he'd be gone for no more than two weeks. So of course, the first thing your supreme brain thought of was to invite your favorite person in the world over to entertain you. And, lucky for you, he brought along his pot of pasta. Fuck you love this guy! So you got awesomely dressed, preparing for his arrival, black skinny jeans and an open-collared long sleeve white shirt, you know, the epitome of sexy AF. 

You're just sitting on your awesome sofa, drinking some Berliner Weisse, basking in your own glory and totally not being nervous and then you hear the door open. You of course bolt right up and do not run excitedly down the hall. You would never do that. Yeah. Anyway, on your trek to the door you hurriedly grab your bouquet of lilies you left on the counter and rush to answer the door. You do a quick breath check before actually opening it of course, just in case. Yup, still smelling like alcohol. Just the way you like it. 

You straighten your shirt a little, ruffle your hair quickly, take a breath and open the door. 

Only to be immediately mowed down by a small, 170 pound Italian. 

Hey, he may not look like much but when someone rushes you coming in at at least 60 mph, yeah, you try staying upright. 

You definitely do not scream as you fall, though Feli is just bursting with laughter. 

You open your eyes when you land and he's hovering right above your face, eyes fully open and chock-full of happiness. Goddamn he's cute.

He giggles again.

"Ve~ Hi Gilbert! What are you doing on the ground silly~?" He can barely get the last part of his question out through his laughter, but you roll your eyes playfully and scrunch your eyebrows, making it look like you are genuinely curious how you got on the floor as well.

"Hmm, I don't really know Schatz, but what are you doing laying on me? Not that I mind of course, the exact opposite actually." You mutter that last part and you can tell he didn't hear what you said because he cocks his head and looks confused. Just like a fucking puppy! You internally squeal at the cuteness of it.

"Ve~ Cosa hai detto Gilberto?" You shrug and ruffle his hair, getting up. He gets the idea and quickly stands, reaching a hand down to help pull you up. Once you're up and have dusted yourself off you remember the awesome flower arrangement you were going to give to him. You realize it's no longer in your hand and start to panic, looking again at the counter and such, you even check Feli's hands to see if he didn't already have them. No such luck.

"Dammit!" You fist your hand and lean against the fridge trying to think of what you could give him as a charming yet awesome present instead. Your mind is totally fucking blank.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and turn around, brought out of your lamenting by your fucking cute and awesome house-guest/date. 

He seems hesitant and unsure, which he has never acted like around you, barring your first encounter with him of course. You were pretty rowdy back then. 

"Ve~ Um Prussia? I couldn't help but notice you seem kind of upset, and I don't really know why but I found these flowers under me when we fell and maybe they'll make you feel better?I know you don't usually like that sort of "pretty" thing but flowers always make me happy and I'd really like for you to be happy too so maybe it's worth a shot?" He said all of that so fast you'd have trouble understanding him had you not had many centuries' worth of experience understanding and knowing him.

You look down at the flowers he talked about, the irony not registering in your mind. And there are your fucking lilies. In his hand, being futilely propped up by one of his fingers trying to make the flowers look less crushed. 

You just stand there and stare. 

For at least a minute. 

"Um Prussia? Are you okay? You know what, the flowers were a dumb idea for you, haha, of course the awesome and legendary Kingdom of Prussia wouldn't be cheered up by some withering lilies. Just...forget about it okay?" His dejected sentence startles you out of your stupor in time to loudly protest.

"LILIES ARE FUCKING AWESOME ITA! RIGHT?! YOU THINK THEY"RE AWESOME RIGHT VENEDIG?! JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST WHY AM I YELLING? SORRY FELI, I'M KIND OF PANICKING! YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL JUST SHUT UP!" What can you say? It hadn't occurred to you that Feliciano might not find the flowers as awesome as you did. And when you get stressed out you yell. 

He is now apparently cowering in fear behind the door to West's bedroom, using it as a shield from your shouts. Goddammit. You just kind of stare at each other, waiting to see who will make the first move. Well, you've fucked up enough tonight as it is, it certainly won't be the awesome you. 

After a little while more of silence Ita quietly opens his mouth, moving out from behind the door.

"Maybe it would be better if I just left, eh? You're kind of acting weird and I don't want to get in the way of whatever... _things_ you need to do okay? I'll uh....talk to you later alright?" He slowly backs up, and grabs the front door's knob, giving you one last look. It's a look of pure confusion and jeez you kind of suck. You can't let him leave, this is your one fucking shot. And you are not throwing away your shot.

"Wait! Feli hold on! I can explain!"

He stops moving and turns toward you, now with a look of concern. And you probably sounded waaaaaaaay too desperate compared to normal, but what can you say? You're fucking helpless for this guy.

You sigh and walk the rest of the way to him. 

"Look Feli, I promise I'm not mad at you or anything, I'm just kinda nervous." He audibly gasps and you hold up your hands, placating him.

"i know, I know, the awesome me is almost never nervous. But there's like a .001% of the time where I do feel those lame wussy emotions. Unfortunately, that percentage of time pretty much only happens around you. Well, and that one weird time where West walked in in the middle of my alone time right when I was trying some new things out, but that's a story for never. Look, point is, I'd really like it id you would stay around and keep me some truly fucking awesome company for the night." He blinks owlishly at you then breaks into a huge all-encompassing smile. 

"Ve~ I'd love to keep you company Gilbert! But only if you agree not to shout and act weird again okay? There's a funny weird and then there's a concerning weird, the only suitable one for me makes me laugh, not cringe, got it?" He laughs out the last part of his sentence, which is how you know he's not really saying you're creepy so you laugh along with him and agree to his terms, taking his coat off and hanging it on the coat-rack. 

"But I am still curious Prussia." You turn towards him as you hang up his coat.

"Hm? What's that?" He glances down towards his hands, which he brings up to show you as he voices his question.

"Why do you have these lilies here?" You blush but decide to answer him honestly.

"Well, two reasons Feli. One, Francis comes over naked a lot, and usually leaves flowers all around my house, usually the ones previously covering his gross old man junk. And secondly, I was going to give you that bouquet when you walked in. But we fell and kind of crushed them, I promise they used to look way more awesome before!" Great, now you're worried he thinks you gave him crotch flowers. 

He stares at you then bursts out laughing. You just stand there and stare because you legit do not know how to react.

Once he recovers, he strides up to you and cups your cheeks with his incredibly soft hands. They feel strangely delicate, but you can feel some callouses, most likely caused from holding a paintbrush too hard and too often. He stands on his tiptoes and presses his lips lightly against your cheek. Holy fuck. 

Your brain short-circuits as your body temperature index raises like 20 degrees in a span of 5 seconds. 

He slowly pulls away and directs your face to look into his eyes.

"Thank you tesoro, that was very sweet of you. I love them~" He pulls the rest of the way off your chest and goes to find a vase to put them in. At least that's what he sings he's doing as he walks up the stairs of your home. 

You are still standing there, being (awesomely) stunned. 

You just got a kiss. 

From Feliciano, literally the cutest, nicest, best ass-iest nation in the whole world. 

You are so fucking awesome. 

When he comes back down the stairs with a strange, purple and white polka-dotted pot almost too big for him to hold, you're pretty much stunned. You shake your head, smile and walk over to him, gently taking the pot from him to carry.

"Feli, if you needed help getting this huge piece of shit down the stairs, I totally would've helped you. All you need to do is ask liebling." You're using the fact that he most likely has no understanding of German to your advantage. Very few countries can master the awesomeness that is your language. That and the fact that most nations are too pretentious to bother learning another nation's native tongue, everyone just speaking English around each other when in meetings and such.

Nations know the most prominent languages used in their country, mostly decided on immigration percentages in their respective land. So a really diverse country like Alfred is fluent in multiple languages. Alfred himself knows English, German, Spanish and Italian. That whole period between 1920 and 2004 really helped with America's broadening scope of languages. 

You've known Italian for a long time, from the original Latin your Großvater made you learn way back in the day, to you having to be able to communicate with Italians during the Austro-Prussian War, due to the alliance you made with Italy. Plus, you want to impress him. He smiles every time you speak his language. 

He smiles and thanks you.

"Yeah, I know~ But you seemed a little distracted and I didn't want you to possibly hurt yourself by being absentminded while carrying a huge pot. Besides, I do this kind of stuff around my villa all the time anyway Ve~. Seriously, you should know by now that I'm not that weak, Prussia." You nod and carry the pot to the location he directs you with one pointed finger, the edge of the kitchen counter by the fridge. 

When you set it down he comes over and wraps his arm around yours, you look down at him, happy but confused.

"Well? Aren't you going to show your guest around?" He has an eyebrow raised, smirking. You smirk right back. No matter how cute, Feli won't show up your awesome charm in your own house.

"Of course Kleiner, pardon my horrible fucking manners. I was literally raised in a goddamn forest." He giggles when you reach for his hand after saying that and plant a careful kiss on the top of it.

He fake swoons, dramatically and leans against you for false support.

"Ve~ Gilbert, you certainly know how to charm a person with your beautiful vocabulary." You laugh and push him back up, him now carrying his own weight.

"Well no shit dude. I'm fucking awesome." He chuckles and you lead him.

"So, where should I show you first Schatz?" He hums and points a seemingly random direction, apparently leading to your garage. You raise an eyebrow but continue that way anyway, opening the door to the chilly room for him. He enters and looks around the room.

"Ve~ It's pretty big for a garage Gilbert." You nod and come up behind him.

"Ja, well you know West. The guy fucking loves Volkswagen" He nods and turns back around into the house. You follow after him.

"Hmm....let's go upstairs next!" He excitedly takes your arm and pulls you up the stairs. You know for a fact he's literally been around this entire house hundreds of times if not more. But it's okay, this is kinda fun and you will definitely entertain anything he wants to do.

He pulls you to the first door on the left, the guest room. You know he's slept in there many times before so why would he want to explore it? You don't know but it doesn't bother you, so oh well.

"This is the guest room, frequently used by the nation representing Northern Italy, Italia Veneziano." He walks around the room, looking at decorations and the curtains, just looking at stuff. He doesn't spare a glance at you as he opens a curtain and looks outside.

"Oh? And what's he like?" You widen your eyes in shock and then smile. Because this is your chance to subtly let him know you lke him a lot and kinda want to simultaneously bang him and cuddle him forever.

You clear your throat and respond just as casually.

"Oh you, know, Italian." He chuckles.

"Yeah, I know the type, ve~" You smirk and keep going with your sentence.

"He's really silly," Feli 'mhmm's' after every description you give," pretty short, not too buff pretty scrawny actually." He whines after that one, which only serves to make you smile wider.

"But bro, he's also super cute. Like fucking kawaii desu ne cute. And I don't even really know what that means." He stops humming in affirmation, which you take to mean that he's understanding your non-platonic meaning of the term.

"He's also fucking hot. And he's got the most awesomely gorgeous eyes in the world, and a smile to match. He's so nice it literally hurts me to think anyone could be mean to him. And I want to protect him forever and permanently cuddle him." Your lips are dry with anxiousness as you stutter out your last sentence. 

"And I really want to-uh, kiss him. And fuck I've never sounded like such a wimpy nervous noodle before but i guess that's just what awesomely cute people do to me, kesesese~." You laugh at the end to sound confident but your fucking sweating bullets. Who knew a hundred-year long love confession could be this nerve-wracking. Certainly not the awesome you.

The silence in the room as he stands looking out the window with his back to you is crushing. He hasn't said anything, hasn't made a sound the whole time you've been saying this. The silence continues and you sigh. You feel a pressure in your chest you've never really felt before. You've had heart attacks, panic attacks, heartburn, and yet none of them feel so suffocating. There's a lump in your throat preventing you from speaking and you know if you even tried, tears would start streaming down your face. 

So instead you take a deep, stuttering breath and back up. You get enough air in to calm you down enough to speak. You clear your throat.

"Yeah um, Feli just....just forget anything I said, I'll uh, I'll be downstairs." Your voice cracks at the end and you immediately turn and leave.

As you walk down the stairs the pressure returns. Like you knew your chance wasn't very big, Ita's always been really attached to West so you figured he probably had a better chance than you, but you never thought the rejection would be so obvious it wouldn't even need to be said. You could literally feel the denial in the air. For the first time in probably your whole life you feel well and truly defeated. 

Once you get down the stairs you don't even feel like chugging down the rest of your beer, your usual coping mechanism. You just lie on your couch face-down and pull the blanket to cover your body.

You lay there in silence, eventually drifting to some semblance of a nap when you're awakened by the blanket rustling and moving. You sit up and look around to see what that was. You come face to face with a head of auburn hair and a curl. You are literally so stunned you only manage to make a croaking noise, which you hope has a questioning tone. 

He giggles and finishes getting under your blanket, finally snuggled up warmly right next to you, using your arm as a pillow.

"Ve~? Sorry Gilberto, I was cold and I don't usually sleep by myself. You typically have no problem with me sleeping with you so I didn't think it'd be an issue. Mi Dispiace!" He was calm as he was speaking but he suddenly screamed the apology. You raise an eyebrow.

"Huh? What for Feli?" He sighs and looks down at his lap as he answers you.

"I'm sorry I didn't respond to you earlier Gilbert. I just was so stunned, I hadn't expected that from you. I didn't know how to respond." You sigh, wishing he hadn't brought it up.

"Look Feli it's okay, I know you like West. It's fine really. Let's just put it behind us, ja?" 

"No! I can't just ignore this Gilbert! Are you saying you no longer like me?" Fuck you made him cry. But it's too late to deal with this nicely so you settle for blunt.

"No Ita, I'm fucking in love with you. But I'm saying that you should go for Ludwig instead. He clearly makes you happy." Feli cocks his head and makes a 'huh?' sound.

"Ve? Prussia I don't like Lud that way, plus he claims to be straight. Though that's most definitely a lie." He mumbles that last part of his sentence before shaking his head, supposedly stopping any future tirade from him concerning the sexuality of your bruder.

"I don't like him like that Gil." You just stare at him. what the fuck. 

"Then who do you like? Cuz I'm really fucking confused right now Feli, and you know it's bad manners to make the awesomest person in the world confused." He giggles and reaches for your face, bringing your face to his as he answers.

"Ve~, you Gilbert! Duh. You are one of my most precious people and you're really nice and care about everybody!" You smile.

"And awesome too, right?" He chuckles and nods.

"So, um...I'd really like to officially date you, si?" You laugh and hug him.

"Ja! Si! Fucking yaaaaassss! Just yes Feli!" He laughs as you crush him down against you under the blanket.

He yawns.

"So, um, I'm really super happy, but can we please go to sleep now? I'm not built to stay up past like 10." You chuckle and wrap you arms around him.

"Of course leibling. Gute nacht Feli." You shut your eyes and rest your face against the side of his head.

He curls up to your chest and nuzzles in.

"Buona notte tesoro." You feel him settle against you and you drift off to sleep happy and comfortable.

* * *

 

***many months of a happy yet mostly hidden relationship later, also third person perspective change***

"Ve~ Gillllllllllllll~ I'm booooooooooored." Feliciano groaned through the thick pastel blue comforter he was currently trying to suffocate himself with. Glibert laughs pats his back.

"Well tut mir leid Feli, but there's literally nothing but boring shit on the fucking t.v. I'm sorry life sucks hon." Feli unseeingly reaches an arm out from the blanket to feel around for where his boyfriend is sitting beside him on the couch, finally finding one of his ankles and settling on just gently grasping it. He pats it as if you would a puppy and Gilbert snorts.

"What do you want with my foot liebling? It probably stinks you know, I didn't shower after taking the dogs for a walk." Feliciano briefly lets go before grasping it firmer than before and determinedly reaching his other hand around to gently swipe his fingernails against the bottom of Gilbert's right foot.

He immediately seizes up before uncontrollably laughing while trying desperately to muster the strength to get the torturous hand off his foot.

"Nooo! Feli, kesese, let go-OOOO haaha, Seriously Feli, sto-kesesese! I fucking...hate...you." He pants as his boyfriend finally lets him catch his breath. Gelibert looks downwards as Feli give him the most shit-eating grin Gil's ever seen.

"And what are you so fucking proud about?" Feli smirks.

"Oh, I'm just proud that I got the awesome Prussia to scream for me to let him go, ve~ I never thought I'd hear it Gil~" Of course Feliciano is just teasing him, and Gilbert knows this. But he's not really the type of person to let such slander go. 

He doesn't verbally respond, simply pulls Feli into a sitting position beside him and leans down.

He presses his lips to Feliciano's and smiles. Feli of course is also happy, but he's much too skilled in the art of kissing to let his happiness hamper him from a good snog. 

Feliciano opens his mouth to Gilbert's pressing tongue and moans as he manages to slide his own against Gilbert's on the trek to the inside of the other's mouth, slightly pushing Gil's tongue out of his mouth. 

Gilbert pulls away briefly to mutter.

"Fucking choose one Feli, you want my mouth or do you want me in yours?" He leans back down to resume kissing, not really expecting an answer from his boyfriend, much too caught up in the amore to respond.

Feli settles with retreating his own appendage and simply interlocks it back with Gilbert's in his mouth. 

There's a sweet taste in Feli's mouth, something that reminds Gilbert of the feeling of home and comfort, but is also really sweet.

"Liebling, what did you eat?" Italy hums and pulls away slightly.

"Oh sorry, is my breath bad?" Gilbert shakes his head and smiles.

"Nein, the opposite actually. Damn Feli, you taste awesome!" He gets another taste of his boyfriend before he pulls away to respond.

"Ve~ I had some kuchen right before Lud left, is that it?" Gilbert groans at the sound of his language coming from his Italian's mouth and pushes his tongue deeply inside Feli's mouth, desperate for another taste.

"Yeah, fuck Feli it's so good." They keep up this exchange even while it starts progressing to something a little more....physical.

Prussia's got his hand in Feliciano's hair as Feli runs his hands up Gilbert's stomach, reveling in the feeling of his toned chest. Gilbert isn't too sure where his shirt actually went and doesn't remember taking it off, but he's totally 100% fine with these proceedings.

He drags his hands to Feli's curl, having long ago found out its affect, and twirls it around his finger, drinking Feliciano's moans with his kisses.

Soon they both feel Little Italy taking the initiative to come out and play and they pull apart. 

Italy pants as Gilbert slowly releases the hair strand from his grasp.

"Ve, Gil that was so good. I loved it! Can we....keep going?" Prussia's eyes bug out of his head as he enthusiastically nods. 

So they continue. 

Clothing is thrown aside in the throes of passion, kisses and bites alike mar both of their skin and pants and groans are released as they begin the final act.

Which is all well and good, cute and loving even. Except for the sudden presence arriving at their door.

 

"Eh Spain, Prusse is here right?" Spain turns around and blinks in confusion then resumes his previous grin.

"Si! Of course he is! Where else would he be? He wouldn't go out without telling us anything, plus Germany is gone so he's probably taking advantage of his absence. Like no offense to Ludwig, but he's pretty restricting on what Gilbert is allowed to do." France nods in agreement.

"Oui, the definition of stick in the mud." He gives a thoughtful hum be fore adding " Unless he's drunk of course. Drunk Germany is tres amusant from my experience." Spain chuckles and agrees.

 He steps forward to the door and turns the knob, but it doesn't turn all the way.

He cocks his head in confusion and tries again with more force but it doesn't budge.

 He sighs and steps back, looking at Francis "It's locked amigo. What now?" Francis hums and looks around, searching for the best spot the German brothers would hide a key. 

"Well, I know they've hidden a key here. Germany changed the hiding spot from the last one since apparently Italie kept forgetting where it was, so we'll have to search more thoroughly." They look around the doorstep, reaching into potted plats, under the Wilkommen mat, and even in the dirty boots waiting by the door. Disheartened and being completely unproductive they stop searching, just thinking of possible locations.

Francis notices the tree about 15 feet from the house, It's tall but has low-hanging branches. One of which has a bird house hanging from it. 

"Aha!" He rushes to the birdhouse, reaches a couple fingers in the entrance and pulls out a small gold key.

Spain facepalms "Why din't we think of that? Of course Gilbert would hide it in the bird house." France chuckles.

"Oui, the man loves his birds. Now then, let's surprise our friend." He sticks the key firmly into the lock and turns. Now with the door unlocked, they share a look and grin.

They slam the door wide open and rush inside.

"PRUSSE! OU ETES-VOUS? JE SUIS ICI, MON AMI!" 

"Si! Donde Esta Gilbert? Come greet your favorite people!" They hear a loud thump from the living room followed by hushed voices, one of which was extremely familiar and raspy. Francis and Antonio give each other a questioning look and run to the living room, not fearing danger, merely worried about missing out on the action clearly happening a few rooms from them. 

The enter the living room and see their favorite Prussian lying on the ground with his feet haphazardly hanging out of the comforter strewn across the couch, as if he tried to get out of it quickly but forgot his feet were wrapped in a blanket.

They stare at each other saying nothing. 

Then another voice is heard squealing and screaming in a hushed volume, almost like someone suffocating. A very high-pitched and desperate voice. A very familiarly effeminate male voice.

Francis looks closer, squatting next to his prone friend, squinting in the dark room until he makes out a curled strand of hair coming from underneath Gilbert's right side.

Gilbert glares up at Francis "What the shit dude? Like just what the fuck?" Francis shrugs and reaches for Gil's shoulder.

"It's not my fault you didn't inform us that you were going to be busy fucking mon frere, mon ami." Gilbert blushes but is suddenly pushed onto the ground when Feliciano shoved him off, leaning up and glaring at Francis.

"Ve~ It's making love not fucking big brother. There's a difference." Francis raises an eyebrow but lets out a small sigh.

"Oui, I know Feli." Spain finally gets over his shock and walks back over to the couple on the ground.

"But uh, would you mind explaining to us why you were making love Feli? Gil?" Feli looks to Gilbert, who's still blushing fiercely and shrugs.

"Sure~ But I don't really know what you mean by explain. I think the situation is pretty obvious ve~." He pushes Gilbert the rest of the way off him and leverages himself up, finally standing next to Spain. Naked. Just letting it all hang loose.

All three men stare at him in varying degrees of shock, Antonio seems to have it the worst, with Feli slightly leaning on him and not really having known the sexual side of Feli.

Francis merely grins and openly stares while Gilbert rushes to stand and try to shield his boyfriend from his friends' sights.

"Nice hickies Gilbert. They suit you well Feliciano~" Feli smiles and thanks him while Gilbert initially sputters but puts on a facade of being totally comfortable with the situation.

"Yeah I know right? I'm totally awesome at giving people hickies, it's like I was born to do it or something right? Hahahaha!" The room fills with an awkward tension as everyone knows Gilbert is faking the confidence and Toni is still trying to figure out where he's supposed to be looking. 

He tries not to openly ogle Feli, but he can't help but notice the comparisons between Feli's body and Lovi's. Feli is slimmer, with more rounded hips, but Lovi has a better ass. Plus, Feli is taller with slightly more muscle tone. Because at least Veneziano was forced to at least try to train, while Romano pretty much didn't give two shits about training or doing what people said. 

As Toni's eyes start to drift downward to spot more private differences Gilbert clears his throat loudly, Toni immediately bringing his eyes back up to meet his friend's intense glare.

Once he's sure he has his friends' full attention, he turns back to Feli.

"Hey Schatz, how about you go get dressed again, ja? Then we can hang out with Francis and Toni okay?" Feli beams and nods.

Okay Gil! See you in a second Francis and Toni!" He quickly leaves the room. And try as they might, all three of them can't help but stare at his retreating backside as he leaves.

As soon as he's out of earshot Francis and Toni turn back around to Gilbert with dark looks on their faces.

"What the fuck Gilbert? I thought we were supposed to let each other know all of our romantic escapades?"

"Si! I thought we were amigos! And our brother? Shit Gil!" Their angrily inquisitive looks don't lessen up at all as Gilbert desperately tries defending himself.

"Hey, you guys both knew I liked him. You knew about it!" Francis' glare intensifies.

"Non! We knew you had a crush on him, you never told us you were actually banging him!" Gilbert waves his hand dismissively.

"I would've told you guys eventually." Spain leans closer to him, eyebrows raised sassily.

"Oh really? Because we just found out you two were involved by literally walking into a fucking fest. We heard thumps Gilbert. Thumps." Gilbert's blush returns but he tries to douse it with anger.

"Yeah I'm fully fucking aware Toni. I'm actually kind of mad that you interrupted us, I'm pretty sure we could've gone another round. If not two more. So thanks for being a cockblock guys. Really." They look at him incredulously, about to rip into him when they hear feet padding quickly down the steps.

"Ve~ I'm back guys! Sorry if I took long, just wanted to make sure I was presentable enough for a true Italian." He bounds up to the threesome and smiles at them all.

Their glares soften, each smiling back.

"Don't worry about it liebling, if you're ready, how about we go out to lunch to talk about shit?" Francis and Toni give him sideways glares but nod when Feli exclaims in enjoyment.

Feli takes Gilbert and Francis by the arm, Spain following at his side and they leave the house, get into Prussia's Audi and drive to a nearby cafe Feliciano is raving about. 

It's been an eventful day for everyone.


	2. How?

**How?**

 

 

 

 

     They arrived at the cafe and ordered their food and coffee, pretty quickly too since Spain and France were rather hurried about wanting to know the juicy details of their friend's relationship.

They choose a corner booth with few other people nearby, just in case the "discussion" gets loud or if they let things slip they aren't supposed to.

France takes a sip of his cafe au lait, sets it down and folds his hands together in front of him on the table. He raises an eyebrow.

"So? Mind filling us in now?" Italy answers him but looks confused.

"Ve~ I really don't understand what you mean big brother, Prussia and I are dating. That's it~" Spain groans and leans closer to the table.

"Si Feli, but we want to know how it happened and the details." Francis nods.

"Oui, I would also like to know why you two are dating mon chere." Gilbert scrunches his eyebrows and hardens his gaze at Francis.

"Hey! What the fuck do you mean by "why"? Could it maybe be because I fucking like Feli and he likes me back? You know, the normal goddamn reasons?" Francis tilts his head and nods slowly, considering Prussia's response.

"Oui, I suppose so. But you and Feli don't really do "normal" do you? And what I specifically implied with that question was that I thought Feliciano was dating Ludwig. Am I right Feli?" Feliciano grimaces and raises an eyebrow in disgust.

"Ve~ Why does everybody think that? Germany and I are just friends! I rely on him for some stuff and I cherish him dearly. Ma non voglio scoparlo! Cristo! Non sono una puttana! Che cazzo guys?" Prussia pats his shoulder while Spain and France stare incredulously at him. They look at each other and Spain clears his throat, turns back around to Feli and starts to talk slowly, soothingly. 

"I know Feli, no one is saying you're a whore, I promise. We just weren't sure how close you were with Germany, and we assumed it was romantic. We shouldn't have, lo siento hermano. Bueno?" Feli nods and blushes.

"Si, mi dispiace Toni, haha I really don't know why I reacted like that. I was just really frustrated, that's what everyone has been saying. Prussia, you, Lovino.-"

"Wait! You told Lovino? How come I didn't know about you and Gilbert?" Feli frowns and shrugs.

"Ve, I don't know, it's not that we specifically kept it from you, we just kinda forgot to tell people." Antonio nods but still frowns. Francis smiles and leans back.

"So, how did you two get together?" Gilbert blushes and looks at Feliciano, who is only wearing a confident smile.

"Um ja, well like 5 months ago West left for a business trip and I wanted some company. I mean I'm awesome by myself but if there are other awesome people I can hang out with, well, why not take twice the awesome? So I invited Feli over to stay over at our house until Lud got back. I prepared for an awesome night, looked fucking sexy and used my awesome manners and bam! I captured the adorable Italian's heart." Feli raises an eyebrow and gives him a playfully doubting look from the side.

"Well, that's one way of interpreting it ve~ Haha, he's not wrong. Though I would give more credit to my ruggedly handsome Italian body, personally." They all chuckle and say their affirmations.

"Ah oui, I'm sure that has a good portion to do with, huh Prussia?" He elbows Spain, who smirks and nods.

"I think it probably does Francis. Well Prussia?" Prussia's blush only intensifies but he smiles widely and nods.

"Ja, of course! Feli is fucking hot! Our awesome history together helps too though." The other two nod, France smiles softly.

"Well mon ami, if you and mon frère truly love each other, I certainly won't stop l'amour. And I think the same can be said for Antoine, oui?" Spain looks at Francis after being elbowed in the ribs and vigorously nods.

"Si, of course! You guys are both great people and although I certainly wasn't expecting your relationship, I can totally see it working out! You've got my support anytime Feli~" Feli beams and nudges Gilbert, who quickly looks down at him, having a mental conversation before turning back up to his friends.

"So, you guys are okay with me and Feli being together?" They receive two enthusiastic yesses. Gil raises an eyebrow.

"You're okay with me and him kissing and stuff?" They get two equally enthusiastic yesses.

He smirks.

"Oh cool, then you guys are totally fine with me banging him right?" The other two pause and look at each other. They seem kind of nervous and agitated.

"Well mon ami, I'd prefer to never have to witness what I did this morning again. So yes, I'm alright with you two making love, but please keep it less explicit when in my line of sight, oui?" Spain agrees with Francis' statement and Prussia snickers.

"I dunno guys, Feli here is  _pretty_ hot. Not completely sure that I'll be able to keep my hands off him." He said that while looking toward Feliciano, so he missed the darkened looks of his friends, so when he turned around back towards them he jumped, startled by the glares he received. 

Spain speaks up first, low and close next to Gilbert's right ear.

"You'd better listen well amigo. I know right now that you make mi hermano happy, but if I walk in on you hurting him, or treating him like some kind of sex toy, I will get my axe out. ¿Escuchame?" Gilbert eagerly nodded his head in agreement. He's seen that wrath before and he'd rather not have it directed at him in the form of familial violence. 

"¡Bueno!" He sits back down, immediately resuming his cheery and care-free smile.

Francis grins and leans back, sipping his glass of water.

He casually agrees.

"Oui Gilbert, the same can be said for me," He sips his water and swallows," although I have a rapièr." He gently sets his water down and Feli rolls his eyes.

"Oh si, si and I am literally an expert in fencing and can genuinely cause any harm required to any person I need to. Big deal, let's move past the petty threats, si? So Gil and I are together, what about you Toni? How are things going with mio fratello? He's spicy eh?" Feli chuckles while finishing the question, knowing it was obviously a huge understatement but still wanting to connect with Antonio on the mutually shared experience of Lovino's temper and general attitude. 

Antonio chuckles nervously, memories of broken vases and loud, Italian rants circling through his mind, he nods.

"Si, si. He's a very feisty one, I'll admit, but I've had a relationship with Romano for practically forever, you know, since he was waddling around like 2 feet tall, so I know how to treat him pretty well by now." He smiles at the memory of the adorable little tomato-colored cheeks of his tiny henchman from back in the 16th century.

He does not however, think to look at the person he was responding to, otherwise he would have thought to duck behind someone for cover when a salt grinder suddenly collides into the side of his head.

He shouts a curse in Spanish and holds the impact spot in pain, looking around for where it came from. He looks up into the eyes of a red-hot Italian about 3 inches shorter than him with eyes that normally reflect love and sunshine and project happiness, which are now filled with indignation and righteous fury.

"Che cosa? Mi dispiace, what the fuck did you just say stronzo? Dal momento che era piccolo? Piccolo? Un bambino? What the fuck, are you un pervitito Antonio? Is that what you're saying? Because if so, I promise there is no force on Earth, the Heavens or Hell that will keep me from catching you and strappando le tue sfere, okay?" The now captive audience of restaurant patrons, especially the trio seated at the table with said angry man stare bug-eyed as Feliciano just keeps laying into Antonio, though eventually it becomes too much when Feliciano starts to gesture very graphically and descriptively with the wine bottle pointed towards Toni's rear. 

Gilbert, though amazed, and slightly turned on, stands slowly, hands outstretched toward his boyfriend in a peaceable manner, palms up, and hands a shoulder-width apart.

"Look Feli, I, uh, I know you're upset but-"

"Damn right I'm "upset" Gil! This fucking **fica** just said he's been in a relationship with my brother since he was a baby!  Look, age of consent in Italy is 14, but a bebè? Really Antonio? I thought you were a nice guy and you do this shit to me? I love you like un fratello and you pull this shit?" He steps toward Antonio again, though Gilbert is quick to wrap Feli in a hug from behind.

"Let go of me Gil, I need to teach this stronzo a lesson."Gilbert shakes his and speaks calmly.

"Nope, not gonna do that Feli. I'm just gonna keep hugging you like this for both of our comfort. You get physical comfort and moral support and I get assurance that my friend will be okay and that you won't go to jail tonight. Look, take a deep breath and let Antonio say something, he hasn't even gotten the chance to say anything yet in defense of himself."

"But-"

"Shh, i know Feli. He's gross, i know hon, shh. Just let him speak." Gil nods to Toni who slowly nods back and rises back up from his position sunken into his chair. Francis had jumped in front of him right after Feli threw the salt shaker. He'd seen the look of the fury in Feliciano's eyes before and knew when things could get dangerous. Luckily it hadn't been him in the hot seat this time. And Francis chanted many prayers silently thinking the heavens for that. 

Francis steps to the side, though still close enough just in case Feli tried to make a grab for Toni's jugular, and pats his friend on the shoulder.

Antonio straightens his suit and glances cautiously at Feliciano, pretending to not notice the glares being thrown at him from directly in front of him. 

"Okay Feli, I don't understand your issue with me right now" Feli's mouth snaps open about to unleash a verbal murder," But I would really like for you to explain exactly what I said or did that was wrong or offensive to you or your brother okay? I am truly sorry for whatever it was I did, but I think there's been a misunderstanding si?" He nervouly chuckles," Something that was maybe lost in translation yes?" Feli looks at him ad glares, though seems open to fully explain the issue.

"Si, of course Antonio. What I really have an issue with right now is what you said about having a relationship with Lovino, mio fratello, when he was little. That, frankly, was more than a little disgusting and disturbing and I hate you now." The three other nations look at each other in confusion for a moment until Francis mutters something under his breath and realization shows in his expression.

"Oh! Feli! You're angry at when he said he had "a relationship with Romano since he was waddling around" all small, oui? Antonio, you need to clarify about that, mon amie. I can understand why our dear Feli is so upset now." Antonio scrunches his brow in confusion. 

"Eh? I though I was pretty clear Francis." Francis shakes his head.

"Non Antoine, you need to specify the type of relationship you had with Romano, like what you guys did together and treated each other and such." 

Antonio still looks confused but nods and slowly sits back in his chair, the others and the table doing the same, though Gilbert still has his arm wrapped firmly around Feli's waist. 

"Our relationship...it was confusing. It was funny, it was caring, it was occasionally violent on your hermano's side, but it was nice. It was probably as close to a little brother as I'll ever get."

"What about Portu-"

"Shut up! Anyway yeah, I raised him, we used to do chores together and plant crops together. He peed the bed a lot and blamed it on squirrels, but it's okay, he doesn't do that much anymore. I really liked our relationship growing up." Feli nods in understanding. 

"So, it was purely fraternal? Just genuine love for a child you raise?" Spain nods.

"Si, though I don't know what other experiences you'd have with your young charge. But si." Feli holds a look with Antonio until he eventually breaks it off with a smile.

"Ok! I believe you big brother Toni! And I think it's really good that you share those memories with Lovino, this way you know that you'll always care for my brother no matter what!" He beams a smile at Toni and everyone lets out an audible sigh of relief now that the tension is gone. Feli giggles.

"So! Who wants to talk fashion?" Multiple groans mixed with a single "Oui!" ring through the diner. And thus, an example of how to solve Italian drama.

* * *

 

On the drive home

 

"So Feli, what was with that whole thing in the restaurant? You got pretty intense there..." Feli looks at Gilbert, who is the current driver of their trip.

"Really? You believed it? I thought I was acting a bit too forced, I'm glad it came off as natural fury. I was worried for a minute there." 

"Ja." Silence in the car until it finally sinks into Gilbert.

"Wait! You were faking? What the hell Feli? How did you do that? And why? Just...holy Fritz I can't believe you were making it up..." Feli giggles.

"Si~ You think I would ever act that way in public? Please honey, we leave the drama for la casa. My people are all about image Gil, you really think the literal personification of the Italian people would have an outburst like that in a nice restaurant? No, we respect the romantic atmosphere way too much for that kind of behavior." Gilbert chuckles.

"Of course, silly me for forgetting you're hot and perfectly composed all the time. My mistake kesesese~ But seriously schatz, why did you do it?"

Feli tilts his head to the side, considering his response. 

"Ve~ Well, for one their Alfredo tasted like wet rain noodles. But mainly, I needed to see how Antonio really treasured my brother. I can't willingly set them up if I don't know Toni's intentions or feelings. I'm not gonna set mio fratello up for heartbreak, I understand breaking up because of differences, but I won't let them break up because there were no feelings in the first place. I wouldn't do that to either of them." Gilbert nods and starts to slow down on the highway.

"Nice Feli, I'm sure they both really appreciate that effort from you. Hey, you wanna pull over and make out in the backseat?" Feliciano has a sly grin.

"Ve~, you read my mind tesoro. Get back here, catch me if you can!" Wild laughter and giggling bounces throughout the car, into the night. 

Until a cop car pulls up beside them and they have to explain why they are two grown men in the back seat of a volkswaggen half-naked while leaving their hazard lights on. 

And so goes the life of two dorks in love.


End file.
